


klance_4_brug.txt

by icky (ickybandit)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bad Jokes, Crack, M/M, dont read this, its bad, this is for u brug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 07:24:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14159730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ickybandit/pseuds/icky
Summary: the story of a rash boy, craving dat mineral





	klance_4_brug.txt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brug aka](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=brug+aka), [SaturnzBarz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaturnzBarz/gifts).



> my best buddy had already read all the good klance fics on ao3, so i made a new one for her. it includes only the best of the best, and is definitely 100% serious and non-offensive and just. Perfect. Thank you for reading.
> 
> also, she is deeply ashamed of her username and wants u to know that she was 13 when she got it. she is now Woke and Educated on the matter of Yaoi. Thank u.

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Lance. Most often, he was described as rash, loud, overconfident, "kinda pretty but not even close to handsome enough to act like he does", but inside, Lance was...well he was all of those things, but he wasn't as confident as people thought he was. Sure, he acted like it. Whether to a crowd of hundreds or to his closest friends, he always acted like that confident boy everyone thought he was. But secretly, all Lance needed was a good dicking. But this, of course, was a secret. One he guarded with his life.

So when Lance met another rash, pretty boy, he didn't like him at all. Keith was... (i dont remember how voltron went lets pretend he was popular.) Keith was popular. He was everything Lance was, but better, more successful, more liked. Lance hated it. At least that's what he thought he did. In reality, Lance was craving dat dick. 

So, forced to cooperate with Keith, he continued to act like he didn't like him (because he DIDN'T like him, not at all, not in a million years), but in reality, Lance was slowly but surely realising that maybe he didn't hate Keith at all. Maybe he just craved dat dick. Haha, no, of course he didn't. Hahaha. That was funny. Lance loved Girls. He'd flirt with anything just as long as it had long eyelashes and tiddies. Skeleton? Meh. Skeleton with long eyelashes and bone tiddies? Lance was there in a heartbeat. "Well hello there... Imagine running into you around these parts... Wanna bone?" 

Hehehe. 

Keith, alas, was not a girl. Well...he did have pretty long eyelashes, but Lance didn't think that counted. Or did it? Was it gay for them to kiss if they were both straight and Keith did have long eyelashes? Surely it wasn't... Lance pondered, wondered. How could he kiss Keith without being gay? How could he ask Keith to fill his lil boy hole with nut, but no homo? It was a dilemma. 

 

One day, Keith wore a dress. He looked...good. Feminine... Lance barely recognized him. This was his chance, he thought. He would go up to Keith and pretend that he thought he was some random girl, and flirt with him (her). So he did.

"Well hello there..." Lance flirted flirtatiously. He wiggled his eyebrows in a sexy, intriguing way.

Keith stared at him blankly. "What," he said. "What?" He looked pretty. Lance wondered how much he had to talk before he could kiss him.

"What's up, girl?" Lance said. "Wanna see... my room?"

"Your room is a filthy trash palace, Lance," Keith replied. "I wouldn't go there in a million years."

Lance smirked sexily. "Not even if I...make it worth your while?" He winked at Keith.

Keith answered by simply rolling his eyes. "What the fuck do you want."

"You," Lance answered. Then he realised he said that out loud. And panicked a bit. He looked at Keith, who seemed surprised, eyes wide and his beautiful thicc red lips opened slightly. 

"I-" Keith gasped. His cheeks were turning bright pink. 

"HAHA JUSt KIDDING!" Lance yelled, and ran away promptly. He didn't get very far, though, before he felt a soft hand reach for his arm, pulling him to a stop.

"Lance..." Keith said. "Were you serious?" Keith looked very...emotional. Vulnerable. Lance couldn't lie to him.

"I..." Lance began. "I love you and I want you to fill my boy hole with your nut until I look like I'm pregnant with your babies."

Keith blushed, and wiped a tear from one of his beautiful eyes.

"You too, Lance... you too."


End file.
